So I was listening to some music and this song came up. It was a cover done by Limp Bizkit for their Results May Vary CD. Just listening to the song even with the poor cover woke up and brought forth feelings I thought would remain hidden for a good deal longer. I have blue eyes and as I close them I can imagine a knife created of words slowly cutting into my skin. I quickly open my eyes to make sure nothing was really happening but the song kept playing and the words kept digging. I grimace in pain and feel the beginnings of a tear working its way out. My arms shake as I have my fists clenched and muscles strain. I let the song finish hoping for release once it ends I do not know if it will happen. Now I worry the pain is real and I will wake up in the morning covered in words and letters describing my moment. Weird tribal markings across my body in some language long forgotten. The song ends and I am set free a gunshot that rings in my head from another sound file on my computer. It fit together so well I wondered for a moment if it actually happened. So I did a search and found the lyrics. Here I post them for others to read and hopefully avoid the song. I give also a big Fuck you to Pete Townshend for writing it.

Artist : The Who
Lyrics for: Behind Blue Eyes

No one knows what it's like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes

No one knows what it's like
To be hated
To be fated
To telling only lies

But my dreams
They aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be

I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That's never free

No one knows what it's like
To feel these feelings
Like I do
And I blame you

No one bites back as hard
On their anger
None of my pain and woe
Can show through

But my dreams
They aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be

I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That's never free

When my fist clenches, crack it open
Before I use it and lose my cool
When I smile, tell me some bad news
Before I laugh and act like a fool

If I swallow anything evil
Put your finger down my throat
If I shiver, please give me a blanket
Keep me warm, let me wear your coat

No one knows what it's like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes

A gunshot is a powerful thing. The sudden crack and blast as both light, sound, and a bullet are set free. Each hurtling away from the barrel. In swimming and racing competitions the gunshot is used to set people free. They hear the shot and burst forth from their starting positions. Throwing themselves towards their destination with almost reckless abandon. Throughout history the gunshot has been used to set people free. Ranging from using it to defend against their oppressors to starting a revolution. In the movies people used it to blast bonds apart to free people. The gun can bring freedom. For one who is chained down by their scars or their fears, doubts, lies, and secrets it also offers freedom. The weight of it in your hands as you contemplate the deed. The metal cold against your skin but you know once it is used it will start to warm up. You just hold it up and pull the trigger. it’s a simple plan. Step one load the weapon. Step two prepare yourself. Step three ????. Step four freedom. No pills, nothing complicated, and no worries about hurting someone else. The last sound you hear will be the crack of freedom setting you free.