Friday, April 23, 2004

Its snowing outside... or it was earlier. I always loved snow. Just not in the mood for it tonight.

Cold spring nights, dreary rain outside
Tapping on my roof, this is my resolution
From the pain I’m looking to hide
it’s pouring on my soul, this is my dissolution

This is my attempt at retribution
Against those who have hurt me
This is a personal revolution
The source of my pain is myself

A jihad that rages in surfeit
Destroying the things I cherish
Neither side willing to forfeit
My humanity destined to perish

This is a portable confessional
Waiting for the equation to figure
Each moment has been progressional
Up to the point of pulling the trigger

Saturday, April 10, 2004

Again I try to write something to finish this storyline. I took a step and tried to expand on it further. Ultimate goal is a movie script. Immediate goal is to work on dialogue and try to make it seem more natural and fluid. So here it is.

8. Contacting some old friends. Seeking answers and comfort.

Grass field filtering out the wind. Waves upon waves for this ocean of greenery. Green, yellows, and browns mixed together until they reach the horizon. Then a mixture of greens and blues as it meets with the sky. A palette for an artist who loves blue and green. Among this field there is a lone red car. The engine is idling and the trunk is open. A young man sitting and holding a guitar while fiddling with the strings. A large speaker sitting on the ground next to him. A few random notes blow through the ocean creating little ripples of its own. A young man lost within his own dream. The guitar lost in its own fantasy as it is brought to life under this man’s fingers. A few minutes pass by as he keeps pulling and pulling from the instrument. Pulling strings to spring forth his reality. Pulling at the strings to pull his emotion from inside and bring it forth and give it life. Failing to achieve either he winds it down and then stops. Looking over to the horizon pondering the events of the day. Then he noticed he had an audience. A young lady standing watching. Waiting for him to finish knowing to interrupt the moment he may never catch again. Setting the guitar down in the trunk he looked over to her.

‘I did not expect to see you around here.’

‘I did not expect it either. You used to love playing here. Why you come back?’

‘Lots of things I loved I left in this town. Figured I would reclaim one while I was down.’

‘You have a habit of leaving things you love behind. You expecting to not come back after this is over?’

‘I never expect to come back. Now that there is little left I will grab what I can salvage and bury this town in my memories.’

‘You always were melodramatic. Don’t you remember your theory? Can you deny that it exists?’

‘I remember it. I also remember lots of other things….’

‘Were you going to call and tell me you were down?’

‘I thought about it but did not wish to talk to Scott so I was not going to bother.’

‘So you were just going to pack up your things and leave forever.’

‘No… I just did not think about how to… I was going to… I just do not wish a confrontation at this time. Enough shit has gone down that an argument with him is not something I have time for.’

Amanda quickly ran up and hugged him. Holding onto him as if he was going to disappear once she let go.

‘I missed you and wish you would at least email me.’

Joel held her for a moment and slowly unwrapped her from him. Standing there looking into her eyes while holding her hands he noticed she lacked a ring on a certain finger.

‘The road of friendship is a road both can travel. Your silence has been your letters to me and my silence has been my response.’

‘Well you always used to call or email me in the past. I thought you were angry or something and did not wish to make you….’

‘Like I said there quite a few things I loved that I left in this town. I only wish I could take them all out with me.’

‘You know that is not possible.’

‘Perhaps then would lunch be possible?’

‘I can do that. Where and when?’

‘I saw there is a new place in town. A buffet place? It looked respectable.’

‘Um no. You should remember at least one thing. Never eat at a buffet place in Sterling.’

‘Then you choose the place and call me. I have my cell on me. As for the time I am not sure. The next few days are going to be busy. I have to get in touch with a few people.’

‘Joel your dad got attacked because he hung out with the wrong people. Your not going to get the group together again?’

‘Na…. I don’t need the group but I do plan on visiting a few old friends to find out what has changed. I need to find out what went down and why.’

‘Joel forget it. Get your stuff and leave. Bury your family and never come back. This town will pull you down…’

Joel turned his back for a moment so he could pickup the guitar.

‘I’ll be fine. Call me when you know of a place and time and we can talk then. I have some thinking to do and playing helps me think. You can watch but please let me enjoy this for a bit longer.’

His speech interrupted by the slam of a car door. The rev of a motor and then the sound slowly drifts off into the distance as his audience disappearing. A minute later the ocean of green and yellow starts up again as the guitar springs to life.