Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Oh yeah I know it doesnt continue the story line I was working on but I will not get any writing done on that tonight.
So I was listening to some music and this song came up. It was a cover done by Limp Bizkit for their Results May Vary CD. Just listening to the song even with the poor cover woke up and brought forth feelings I thought would remain hidden for a good deal longer. I have blue eyes and as I close them I can imagine a knife created of words slowly cutting into my skin. I quickly open my eyes to make sure nothing was really happening but the song kept playing and the words kept digging. I grimace in pain and feel the beginnings of a tear working its way out. My arms shake as I have my fists clenched and muscles strain. I let the song finish hoping for release once it ends I do not know if it will happen. Now I worry the pain is real and I will wake up in the morning covered in words and letters describing my moment. Weird tribal markings across my body in some language long forgotten. The song ends and I am set free a gunshot that rings in my head from another sound file on my computer. It fit together so well I wondered for a moment if it actually happened. So I did a search and found the lyrics. Here I post them for others to read and hopefully avoid the song. I give also a big Fuck you to Pete Townshend for writing it.

Artist : The Who
Lyrics for: Behind Blue Eyes

No one knows what it's like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes

No one knows what it's like
To be hated
To be fated
To telling only lies

But my dreams
They aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be

I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That's never free

No one knows what it's like
To feel these feelings
Like I do
And I blame you

No one bites back as hard
On their anger
None of my pain and woe
Can show through

But my dreams
They aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be

I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That's never free

When my fist clenches, crack it open
Before I use it and lose my cool
When I smile, tell me some bad news
Before I laugh and act like a fool

If I swallow anything evil
Put your finger down my throat
If I shiver, please give me a blanket
Keep me warm, let me wear your coat

No one knows what it's like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes

A gunshot is a powerful thing. The sudden crack and blast as both light, sound, and a bullet are set free. Each hurtling away from the barrel. In swimming and racing competitions the gunshot is used to set people free. They hear the shot and burst forth from their starting positions. Throwing themselves towards their destination with almost reckless abandon. Throughout history the gunshot has been used to set people free. Ranging from using it to defend against their oppressors to starting a revolution. In the movies people used it to blast bonds apart to free people. The gun can bring freedom. For one who is chained down by their scars or their fears, doubts, lies, and secrets it also offers freedom. The weight of it in your hands as you contemplate the deed. The metal cold against your skin but you know once it is used it will start to warm up. You just hold it up and pull the trigger. it’s a simple plan. Step one load the weapon. Step two prepare yourself. Step three ????. Step four freedom. No pills, nothing complicated, and no worries about hurting someone else. The last sound you hear will be the crack of freedom setting you free.

Monday, January 17, 2005

Ok I admit I have been slacking over the weekend. But I can definitly say it has been an intersting weekend. Hopefully tonight will continue a bit on the storyline I am working on. Here is where it gets more difficult. I had the begining and I know the ending.. now the middle to connect the two..

Friday, January 14, 2005

This isn't part of the previous story line it is something else I was trying to write about. For those who are truly interested in what is in that package know this post has nothing to do with that story.

A familiar car pulled into the parking lot. I sat in my little booth waiting for her to enter the restaurant. We had agreed to meet here for lunch. I hadn’t been waiting long. Perhaps 5 minutes before her car pulled up. As she got out of the car I watched her walk towards the entrance. The windows were tinted so people inside can see out but you can’t look into the place. I wonder if she knew I was watching her right now? As she approached the greeter saw her and opened the door. Then after she shook off some of the cold and her coat the greeter pointed her in my direction. When she looked at me I stood up and waved. There I waited a bit longer as she came over to the booth. After she sat down I reached inside my coat and pulled out a little item before sitting back down myself. I gave her a small chocolate rose wrapped up in gold foil.

`Its not as sweet as you but I figured you would enjoy.’ I leaned back into the booth as she giggled and slowly unwrapped her little gift.

`So how was your trip down?’ She asked while pulling a small piece of foil that refused to come off with ease.

`It was uneventful. That I am thankful for. Though I do have to admit my visit with you almost makes me sad to leave this place tonight.’

`Almost eh? I wonder what would keep you down here forever.’ She put on a wicked smile and fluttered her eyelashes almost seductively except for the burst of giggling that came forth almost immediately afterwards.

`Well that would easily keep me down here for all eternity. Though I imagine you would get sick and tired of me after a few weeks.’

`Oh perhaps but still… Otherwise how was your visit with your dad?’

`It was entertaining I guess. I went in and told him to call his mom. Also I told him he isn’t forgotten just that there is nothing I can do and he is so far away so I will not visit often or at all.’

`Any idea how long he is locked up till?’

`No idea I don’t even think they have gone to trial yet.’

`Were the drugs his?’

`I doubt it. He never had that much money and was not really the dealer type. Probably was there to spend his paycheck and stock up for a few weeks. He tells me he is innocent and knew nothing of what was going on there but I don’t believe him.’

`Why don’t you?’

`I know him. All these years and the people he hangs out with. Somehow I doubt the cops caught him the one time he was just being an honest citizen.’

`Do you hate him?’

`Na… I do not hate him however most of my memories involving him also includes the police. Heck my earliest memory is them taking him away.’

`Sounds like he wasn’t really there for you…’

`Well don’t get me wrong. He wasn’t the greatest of fathers but I wasn’t the greatest of son either. He wasn’t there for me and I never really had the interest to be there for him. There are quite a few times when he blew me off or spent time with his friends over his family. There are almost the same amount of times when I have done the same to him. When I was younger we were rebuilding an engine for my car and often I would go hangout with friends and didn’t think about it. Also one weekend when we were younger he picked up us kids and took us out to the lake. I got bored after a day and started walking back home. I say we are just about equal.’

`You still seem like your bitter over the whole thing.’

`Yeah I am a little bitter. Its for a lot of things regarding him. Oh well I don’t want to discuss him anymore. How did your date go?’

`It went ok however we didn’t get to finish a conversation.’

`What about if you don’t mind me prying?’

`So far we have been comfortable together and haven’t really taken the next step. We were discussing that a bit over New Years but we never got to finish it.’

`How do you want it to turn out?’

`I don’t know we have been friends for so long that it is almost an all or nothing type of situation. I think it would be nice but he spends too much time taking care of his mother. I don’t know if it will work.’

`You didn’t answer the question.’

`I don’t know how I want it to turn out. Sometimes when we argue we conflict even more. When I am angry with someone I like to discuss it and talk it out. He is one of those who you get into a fight with then he stalks off for a few days and comes back ok. I don’t know if we can have an argument without destroying anything that we have built.’

Half an hour passes by as the conversation switches into idle mode. We both slowly work on some cheesy fries covering other topics like work, friends, news, and books we have read. The waiter came up and took the plate away giving us a funny look as he glanced at the weird smiley face and mouth we made with the ketchup.

`Would you like any pie?’

`um.. Yeah… ‘ I turned and looked at her for a moment. `French silk?’

`Yes.’ She responded.

`Lets get a slice of French silk pie with two forks then and that should be it for the evening.’

`Excellent I will bring that right out.’ The waiter headed back towards the kitchen.

`So you have been single now for 9 months?’

`Yeah doesn’t seem that long ago though doesn’t it?’

`Yeah how is Scott doing?’

`He is doing well, working and such.’

I tried to suppress a small laugh.

`What’s so funny?’

`I was just thinking…’

`Thought I smelled something burning. What were you thinking about?’


`You can’t just answer a question like that.’

`Wanna bet?’

`Now your just stalling.’

`No I wasn’t. I was thinking about when I was younger. I remember I was going to make it a point to ask you out and try to start a relationship with you if you were ever single again. Now 9 months have gone by and your still single.’

`Yes I am. Though no clue how things are going to pan out with Mark.’

`Now I do not know how to ask this.’


`Well in high school you would ask someone out and start “dating” them. But I take friends out on dates all the time. I cannot think of an appropriate way to ask someone to start a romantic relationship. There should be communication before such is started or so I like to believe. So perhaps the correct question is this.. Would you like to discuss the possibility of me and you?’

`Um I don’t know…’

`Think about it either way. I am not as madly in love with you as I was when I was younger. I have mellowed out over the years. Getting rejected is not going to emotionally crush me. Though I imagine getting a yes would emotionally destroy me. We have been friends for a long time. I don’t remember us ever really getting into an argument but I can imagine it happening. You know what my feelings have been for you over the past 8 years. We know what our bad sides look like and where each of us are coming from. I also know the distance thing is a bit much but hey it is only an hour and half drive. I am willing to do that. However I cannot be the only one. If we do it would be something we would both have to work towards. I do not want to be the only person trying.’

`I understand that…. Though I feel that…..’

The waiter brought out the piece of pie. Perfectly interrupting the conversation then leaving us to pick up the pieces again. A minute of silence went by as we started into the piece. Each of us enjoying the chocolate pie. Each waiting as if daring the other to speak first. It was her that broke the silence.

`I will have to think about it. I do not know either way but it will require some thought. Though we do have a long past together our friendship is not something I want to lose.’

`I understand. I waited 5 years for you to break up with Scott. I waited 1 year for you to finish traveling. Time does not mean that much to me at this point. Also like I said earlier I am do not have as much emotionally invested in it this time. I treasure our friendship but I also keep wondering the big “What if”.’

`Thanks for the pie. I will have to get back to you. Know that the next week I am preparing for a trip to Montana and I am not ignoring you. I will get you an answer back after I ponder it.’

Thursday, January 13, 2005

They say that time flies when your having fun. It is rare that I think of my work as work. I get to meet new people and usually there is something fun to do. Either making a new drink for a customer with a special request or watching the bouncers remove a rowdy patron. Today in between mixing a jack and coke for someone and a martini for another I pondered if I used to like going out to clubs before. Still pondering that while I counted up my tips. One hundred twelve dollars pretty good night. As I closed my locker and grabbed my jacket the package sat back there waiting for me. Perhaps I used to be a writer or volunteered reading stories to children. It sat there looking at me as if trying to say, `I knew if I waited you would be back for me.’ Jessica told me she had other plans for tonight so it appears me and my package were going to have a long ride home together.

`So would you like to rent a movie with me tonight?’ Perhaps I was a comedian or the funny guy in my group of friends. Though I doubt humor filled their lives that much. I stood there still looking at the package as if it would actually respond to my question. I was going to just leave it in the locker but since I share with someone in the morning I do not know if it would be there tomorrow.

`I guess your coming back home with me.’ I picked it up and tucked it under my arm as I headed out. Waving goodbye to Nick as he swept up a final time. Late at night there are fewer busses running around. Though there is a stop right near the club the route closes at 9pm so I have to walk 6 blocks to the nearest one. The club is in a good part of town. I know the streets are safe or at least safe enough. Coming out of the club and out of all the noise and lights the silence makes me paranoid. I would strain to hear any little sound and jerk my head towards anything to see what caused it. Was I a paranoid druggie?

While I walked to the stop I felt the package to try and determine what it was. Overall it was a weird shape. Heavier on one side than the other. About 11inches by 8 and almost two inches thick. One side felt like it had a lot more padding and it was heavier. What could it be? While dreaming of possibly items as I walked I caught out of the corner of my eye the bus waiting at the stop. I waved my hands like a madman and started running towards it.

`WAIT!! DON’T GO!!’ I tried to run faster and still missed the bus. Great the next one will be here in an hour. I went to the sign for other routes. Perhaps I can catch another route by walking to a different stop. A quick look on the route listing showed no other late night routes. If this would have happened during the day several stops were nearby. Otherwise it looked like I was going to keep the bench warm for a bit.

Time passes slowly when your waiting on something unseen. I almost wish my clock nearby so I could pass the moments by swinging it time and time again into the concrete. Its not that I hate the clock. I find that time is something abstract and the measurement of time is useless. Why bother worrying over the little things? The doctors said it was a fragment of my previous psyche. From what I can tell through talking to friends and family I used to be concerned about time and dates. Perhaps I was an accountant. I was the end result of evolution. I had a wireless phone, watch, PDA, MP3 player, and a wireless headset for my wireless phone. Why anyone would need a wireless headset for a wireless phone? Was I a showoff? I imagine if I had some way of measuring time the amount of wasted moments sitting there would have seemed even longer. Still though I sat waiting knowing that when the bell on the clock tower down the road rang it would be 15 more minutes. Was I a patient man?

Lights blinded me for a moment as a car pulled up. It was a dark blue car I have no clue what the make or model is. The engine went from a roar to a small deep rumbling the lights turned off as someone got out of it.

`Matthew?’ A shadow spoke in the twilight. The voice seems familiar but I cannot place it.

`Yeah who is there?’

`Its me Tami!’

`Um not pulling up a face sorry its late and I just got off work.’ Might as well been a shadow speaking to me. At least then my confusion would understandable. I hope she isn’t one of my old friends. A year ago I ran into Paul who I hadn’t spoken to in several years. He did not know about my accident and thought I was being mean when I tried telling him. That was an awkward day.

`Oh silly don’t you remember?’ `No I didn’t' I thought but I figured keeping my mouth closed for a moment would be the wiser choice. `I was the nurse who kept teasing you at the hospital. Remember I used to say,' Her voice switched into a mocking tone like she was trying to sound like an old lady. ‘Don’t forget to eat your peas’

Suddenly days filled with friendly banter and a beautiful smile filled my mind. It came back in a rush as I did remember as she was one of the good memories I had gained while I was still struggling to figure out what the heck was going on.

`Ah yes. Now I remember. It has been a while.’

`Its been what 3 years? How are you doing?’

`I am doing ok. Working and just existing.’

`You regain your memories?’

`Nope. You retain your boyfriend?’

`Nope I caught him cheating 2 years ago with a good friend of mine and threw him out. You have not regained a single memory.?’

`Nope still nothing at all. I gave up hope trying to recover them. Though I often wonder what I was like beforehand.’

`Some memories are best forgotten. Lets hope you only regain the good ones. What are you doing out here at this time of the night?’

`Just got off work and missed my bus. Was waiting for the next one to arrive.’

`Oh you still don’t drive?’

`Nope figured once a life time was enough for me. Is this your car you spoke of back then or different car?’

`This is my baby. 1996 Pontiac Firebird with Vortech supercharger on the LT1 V8.… I can tell even without looking that your already rolling your eyes.’

She was right. I know definitely I was never a car person. I remember her telling me about her car when I was still in the hospital. Her talking about the time spent looking for a supercharger that fit her modification RAM Air intake. I drifted off for a moment as I remembered.

`Matthew wake up!’

`Doh sorry I was thinking about your car and you telling me about it back when. So I imagine it got together ok and now runs well.’

`It runs great! Would you like a ride and you can find out for yourself? I recently got the leather seats fixed so the power controls work correctly now.’

`Well being that my bus is still not here and it is a rare moment that I get to ride in such a fancy carriage I would like to take you up on the ride offer.’

`Great hop in and lets go. Would you like to go for coffee somewhere or is there pressing matters to attend to at your residence?’

`Coffee would be great. Nothing pressing at my apartment except a clock that shall be taught its place.’

`Still not comfortable with the measurement of time eh? How are you about handling the new invention called Electricity?’

`Very funny I just find it difficult to accept the measurement of something that really doesn’t exist. Its an entirely sub……’

`Lets talk about this over coffee instead of discussing the illusion of time keeping.’

I opened the car door and climbed in. The leather seat wrapped itself around me as I settled in. Sitting so low to the ground I had difficulty grasping how fast she was going. From the occasional squeals of the tires when she took a corner I knew it was faster than the posted limit.

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Light invaded my world. Lying there sleeping dreaming of a place soft and fuzzy and this light would dare to interrupt me. Wait the light has been shining on my face for a while. Then what invaded my sleep?


Loud pounding at my front door. So I slowly got up draped with the blanket like a king going out to meet his court. I stumbled through my little apartment trying to separate the real world from the hazy dreamland that still haunted my eyes.


`Wait a second!’ my voice sounded a little hoarse but hopefully that will stop the pounding. As I got closer to the door I saw the screen was open and there was the top of a brown hat through the door window. I tried to turn it open but the deadbolt stopped my attempt. Ug why can’t people stop by during the evening. Why so early in the morning. I glanced over to the clock while I turned the deadbolt.

`11:24AM’ the clock said sitting on top of a bookshelf safely out of my immediate reach.. Daring me to challenge its timekeeping abilities.

The door opened slowly as I poked my head through to see who would visit at such an hour. On my doorstep I saw a young man dressed up in all brown and a logo on his chest that said, `UPS’

`Delivery for Matthew Browski.’ He looked at me and in his eyes I could tell that he honestly did not care if I was that person or not. He just wanted to leave the package somewhere so he could get on with his day.

`Braunski, That is me.’ I hated when people didn’t bother to try and pronounce my name correctly. Its not that difficult. Before I could ponder it any further he shoved a clipboard into my hands with one of his fingers pointing to a small line with signature written underneath it. I quickly signed and the clipboard was replaced with the package. It was rather heavy and I almost dropped it. I was going to give out a thanks but the guy was already gone. Masterful he was in his craft of appearing, delivering, and disappearing. I closed the door and threw the deadbolt back into place. Set the package on the couch and headed back to dreamland.

Hours and days passed by in dreamland. Where time is meaningless. What it was all about I do not know but it was good because I woke up again rested and ready to start my day. After my morning ritual I started heading out and noticed the package sitting on the couch. I guess I can open it at work and see what it is there. I grabbed the package and glanced again at the clock to note it said 2:00PM. At times I swear the bar that lists the various radio frequencies curves slightly so it smiles all the time at me.

‘Someday Mr. Time you will get what’s coming to you!’ I sent out the challenge and it did not respond for a few seconds. Then it threw back its gauntlet.


Ug if I don’t hurry I will be late to work. I left the house locked and hurried down to the bus stop. Grabbed Local 14 and 20 minutes later arrived at work.

Work was a club where people came to forget their past. Quite a few people worked here because they were trying to start a new and this place did not care about where you came from. It cared if you showed up on time and if you did not steal from it. It was an ok job as I was a bartender and the pay was decent. However I was different from everyone else there. Everyone there was there to escape their past either as a customer or as an employee trying to get back on their feet. I have no past though. 3 years ago I woke up in a hospital room. For two months my world was white and soft with cute little nurses running around fetching me things. I had been apparently driving and was involved in a crash. Then I had staggered into this club where someone dialed 911 for me. While I was in the hospital I was diagnosed with amnesia. The doctors said there was a chance I would recover completely but over the years and visits to my psychiatrist it was determined part of my psyche did not want to be recovered? Something to do with repressed memories or something. It was a waste of money so I quite going. The owner of the club visited once in a while and eventually we became friends. So she hired me as a bartender. From what I heard from family and friends I used to work at a processing plant for computer coders. None of my old friends seemed happy about their job so I never went back there. Though what would I do in front of a computer I have no clue. I doubt I could even type more than 10 words per minute. I wonder if I rambled before? Since the accident I haven’t really kept in touch with my old friends. They seemed like complete strangers and I wonder what was it that I saw or why they hung out with me? Most of them were depressed and moped around filling their lives with useless activities like video games. Why sit inside a house all day when you can go out and experience the world. Needless to say they would always say no to activities I recommended so I stopped asking.

I threw my stuff in my locker and got dressed in my work clothes. No time to daydream today as Tuesdays were often busy because of the rotary club would stop by after their meeting. Hopefully tips go well tonight perhaps I will ask Jessica out for a movie afterwards.

Monday, January 10, 2005

This is something I was working on over the weekend. As I considered how to be a good uncle for my Niece and Nephew. I will probably add more in the future but here is a start.

How to be a good Uncle. An essay of lessons learned in life to avoid mistakes taken by those before me.

Gift Giving.

1. Be considerate of the younger children. If you get a gift for one remember the others. Do not buy a gift for one on their birthday but when the next rolls around forget the other. Also remember that on a rainy day or snowed in day all the kids will be in the house and probably playing with each others toys. So remember the age of the youngest child and try to not get anything that they can choke on or possibly break. For example. My niece turned 7 recently. Since he was born I have been wanting to buy him Lego’s so he could build and play with them. When he was 4, I did not get him any knowing that his youngest sister was only 1. I knew that if I got him Lego’s they could be a hazard for his younger sister. So I waited until he was 7 and bought a batch. Not one of those play sets with premade pieces and instructions just a bucket with lots of random parts. Next year I plan on tripling the collection.

2. Remember that they are still children and will or may not understand about money. I remember when my niece was younger she did not understand that batteries cost money and that without batteries the toy they play with will not work anymore. Suddenly it becomes a motionless paperweight or something to throw at the other child. Often one of the best gifts you can get for the child is not really a gift for them. It is a gift for the parent. Get them a battery recharger and various sized rechargeable batteries of the same brand. This will allow the parent to recharge the batteries as needed to keep the toy functional. When the next year comes around just include another package of the same type of rechargeable batteries as sometimes they wear down with age and wont maintain a charge anymore. This saves the environment and it will ease the cost burden on the parents who would otherwise have to go out and buy batteries when the old ones die. For low income household rechargeable batteries are an option that is outside of their price range.

3. Stick to a budget for each child. This will prevent one getting a new game system while the other gets a little plastic car. Among siblings there is envy. There is the feeling Tommy got the new bike and all I got was this toy truck. There is often competition and rivalry. If you stick to a budget this will help reduce some of it as being an uncle you are never really there so you don’t have to deal with it. The parents though will and the children will also definitely deal with it as many who grew up with brothers or sisters can testify.

4. If you buy a game if you can buy two copies of it. Nothing ruins a child’s day or even a parents day when the child plays with the game. Then suddenly a piece is missing or broke. Have you ever played Mousetrap without the diving board? Candyland missing the INSERT PART HERE!!!. Checkers missing a few pieces. If you can get two copies this gives them a spare set of parts and cards. Also a replacement board incase milk, soda, or water is spilled on the other. Most of the advance games you would not have to worry about. The younger games that have lots of parts are the ones I am talking about. Now I know it can get a little expensive so only do it if you can heck go to a thrift store and buy a copy even if money is that big of an issue. However it will allow the game to give hours of enjoyment even after someone steps and breaks a piece.

5. Remember the sanity of the parents needs to be kept. So unless you do not wish to be welcome at the house or have the kids get in trouble for the gift you give them be reasonable while also looking out for the other rule about remembering the other children’s ages. Getting the eldest a pellet gun at age 10 may seem like a great gift but if there is a younger child there that shares the same room or could have access to it may not be so great. Water guns are another thing. If you get them more and likely they are going to get used in the house and the kids will either be punished or the guns taken away. Running a gift by the parent before you give it to them is a kind thing to do. It will also allow you to find out if they have had that already and know if the parent really does not wish such torture. One year I gave my nephew a squirt gun and his sister a big thing of cotton candy. Then I dropped them back off at their mom’s house and left. I imagine the havoc created was not a good sight to see. Remember why your giving them a gift. Are you doing it because you do not like their mom or day (in my case I did not like their mom and was using the children as a tool) or are you giving it because you want them to enjoy such an item.
On little family outings.

1. Communication with the parents is key. Know before hand the limitations of your niece and nephew. If one of them has an allergy or some disorder educated yourself on it. Know the symptoms of an attack and what to do. If your taking them away from their parents for any amount of time know you are responsible for them. Find out if one of them has had a cold and if your trip out to the park on a spring day may be too much. Know if one of them has a fear of something like water before you do a boat trip. Also find out if the parents restrict access for their kids to certain media. Do they allow them to watch TV? Would they mind if you took their impressionable youth to a church activity that is different from their religion? Do they allow them to see movies rated PG13? Do they care if the show has violence and such in it? Though again you are the uncle and at times you are supposed to spoil the kids going directly against the parents wishes can mean no more visits. It could also mean that future visits will require a parent to come along as they have to make sure your following the rules that they have set. They are the parents and their rules should be followed because if you do not follow them it sets a poor example for the children. Why should they obey when you flaunt them or allow them to break them when your around? Also find out what type of punishments the parents use so you can do the same. Find out if they believe in spanking or other cruel and usual punishments.

2. Remember who’s kids they are and that they are kids. They are not trophies to sit with you nor are they your chance to get revenge on your brother or sister’s childhood. Also they have limitations to both their physical and mental ability. Taking them out water-skiing when they have never been and expecting them to grasp it quickly is too much. Throwing them off at the deep end of the pool without knowing if they can swim is not good. Do the parents mind if you let the kids light off fireworks while they are still young. With my friends going out and trying something new and dangerous is nothing but with kids it could result in injury or death. Never forget they are not your kids and if something happens many people will feel the repercussions for the act. Also kids can tell when they are being used as a trophy. Borrowing your nephew or niece to take to the mall while looking for dates is not good. Overall I guess the main point is you do not use people as tools to get what you want. It is a bad thing to teach to a child when they are young.

3. Set time limits and time frames. If your going to take the kids out and say your going to be gone for an hour be gone for an hour then come back. If anything happens like your going to come back early or arrive late call beforehand. Preferably 10 minutes before hand. This gives the parents time to prepare incase they were doing a puzzle or wrapping gifts. Since parents don’t get a lot of time away from their kids especially during the summer they capitalize on what time they get. Having the kids come back and walk in on them wrapping a birthday gift or the parents doing something else can cause problems. Also if your going to be late then calling ahead and notifying them will reduce worry and let you know if there was something else planned.

4. Compare notes with the parents afterwards. If you learned something new like Billy likes boats and is interested in fishing do the parents mind? This allows the parents to possibly learn something new about their child or perhaps what direction to help steer them in. If the parents are Vegetarian I imagine the thought of fishing is not a good thing. If you noticed something different like Sarah appears to no longer like tomato’s. You know the saying, ‘It takes a village’? Well guess what? Your part of the village and if one side doesn’t know what the other side is doing conflicts that could be easily avoided can be created. Another example is if you took them to a social function like a church picnic that little Billy was interested in hearing bible stories but you kept him away because you know the parents were atheist. Next time you take him out should you avoid religious functions or do the parents mind if the child makes their own decision on what their beliefs are? Also comparing notes will key in the parents possible new interests for the child or possible gift ideas for the holiday season. Your time spent with them is not some secret that only you and the child should keep. The memory will still be there but sharing information and talking about it with the parents will only improve your relationship with all members of the family.

5. Encourage education. When my niece turned 3 I asked her to count to 3. I asked her to tell me how old her brother was. I encourage them to write their names on paper once in a while. If I take them to the store and have a picket full of change I try to have them pay and count out the coins for the person. To others this seems silly but encourage them to learn and then use that knowledge. This also follows under communication in a way. If you find out that Billy has just learned about something then bring it up and ask him about it. Not only will it reinforce what he learned but most kids when young are happy to show off. This I feel is also important if the child is one of many. In a family of brothers and sisters they don’t get the chance to shine. Sometimes even praise is not split up evenly or even given for some things in larger families. Obviously don’t be ridiculous about it and don’t mock the child but still encourage education and give praise where it is due.


1. Respect the parents desires. No matter how much you either dislike or disagree with them remember they are still the parents. If the parents follow a different church than you then learn a bit about theirs so you don’t give mixed teachings to the child.

2. Instilling belief or the desire for mysticism into a child can be either good or bad. If the parents are not religious and you want to bring the child along to some activity run it by them first. I imagine most parents would not have any disagreement to a church picnic most would have words to say if you were to bring the youth to be baptized. Find out how they plan on raising their child in regards to religion. Personally I believe the child should be raised with neutral teachings that give background and history towards whatever faith the parents have. However leave it open to the child to make their own decision when they get old. Most children cannot even comprehend the idea of life after death. They most likely cannot even understand the whole death part in itself. So blind faith in a deity or order is expecting a lot out of someone young. Taking them though to little things like Midnight Mass, picnics, and other socials where there are other kids and allows them to be in an environment that is both wholesome and safe is “A good thing”. I cannot stress it enough that you should not go against the parents wishes. As the child grows most likely they will rebel anyways against their religious belief. If you force such a rebellion or if you bring it on by introducing them into another theology you chance fracturing the relationship between you and the parents. Which can mean you will no longer be able to visit your niece and nephew. Gently pointing them in the right direction and helping them along as they grow up the child will discover for themselves their path. If it happens to be the same path that you follow in your beliefs then good. If it is their parents or some other path remember religion should be a personal choice. It should not be something forced upon someone. What is the point of following a belief you do not truly believe and you only go through the motions because of pressure from someone else.

Monday, January 03, 2005

So for the new year I decided I would create a livejournal account to go with the 4 blogs I have so far for writing and characters in various games. I want to write 100,000 words for 2005 and so far am on a good start. I am upto 1300 words and so far only written for 2 days. Overall it should be a fun trip I just have to stick to 500 words or more per day and remember to write every day. So if I dont update in here or the other blogs check the LJ account and find out about my exciting life!

Saturday, January 01, 2005

So it is a new year and I plan on writing more this year. Over all it should be fun and hopefully I will complete a project or two but I know I will probably start three more seeking to keep myself busy or to encourage myself to write more. Either way hope your new year went well and have fun.