Sunday, February 06, 2005

It still doesn't continue anything just something different. ...

I leaned forward so my forehead touched the brick wall. Feeling its cold little ridges against my warm face. I moved my head a little bit to the left and felt it dig into my skin and scratch a bit. The pain coursing through me waking me up more. I slowly pushed myself away from the wall as the cloud that filled my mind thickened and I wobbled a little. I need to not drink as much in the future. Why did I not stop after the beers and the margaritas? Snippets of the evening came back to me and I remembered the reason on why I did not stop drinking. I should have just left. However in my current state the thought that I should not review the depressing thoughts while I am in this condition. I decided to change my line of thinking and figure out more pressing details. Like how did I end up in the alley? I looked down the side of the building towards the street. Now realizing that I am pressed up against the wall again. The cool stone felt wonderful on my face. I need something to focus on. Something to pierce my alcohol induced stupor and find my way home. Not seeing any water around I took a deep breath. I have no idea if this will work I thought as I took a step away from the wall again. I pulled my hand back and punched the stone. Pain shot up through my hand and arm as they caught on fire. I looked down and did not see any fire but some redness in my knuckles. I pulled back again and punched over and over. I didn’t go all out as I did not want to break my hand I just wanted a little bit of pain to wake me up and force me to focus on something other than reminiscing over the evening. After a few seconds I looked down and saw my hand was now dripping with blood. I opened and closed it to make sure it worked and staggered out of the alleyway. I cannot drive so I better call someone and I reached around looking for my phone. Somehow I cannot find it I probably left it inside or it fell out somewhere. I searched for my wallet and pulled out a dollar. Slowly I made my way to a coffee shop. I waked in through the door and was surprised by the little bell chime. The place wasn’t that busy but everyone there looked at me strangely. I walked up to the clerk and hanged him a dollar bill.

`Kan eye get some chang for the phone?’ My speech slurred and I wondered if this was really my voice. It almost felt like I was watching myself in third person somewhat disconnected from myself. He looked at me weirdly and I glanced down. I realized I handed him the bill with my left hand which was covered in blood. I pulled my wallet out and removed a fresh bill and stuffed the bloody one into my coat pocket.

`Hey man do you want some help?’

`No tank you. I just peed some chang for the phone.’

He slid 4 quarters on the counter and I carefully picked them up. Again with my left hand and when I realized this I stood there staring at my bloody hand with some quarters stuck to it. I turned around and started heading outside. There has to be a phone around here somewhere. I staggered down the block and found one. I put in two quarters and it rejected one. Apparently the blood wasn’t helping. The pain had reduced itself to a dull throb and my mind was clouding up again. I dropped my quarters and spent a good amount of time trying to pick them up. When I stood back up I banged my head against the phone box. Which promptly left me on my ass rubbing my head. Again with my left hand. I wish I were ambidextrous. I stood up and put in another quarter then tried to dial a number. I got a disconnected tone and I figure I dialed it wrong. I fished the coins out of the tray and put them in again and dialed another number. As the phone was ringing I was trying to remember whom I called and was going to ask for a ride. A female voice came on the line. Obviously someone who was tired. Somehow I did not recognize who it was.


`Hay tits me. Sorrie if I woke you up.’

`Don’t worry I was just getting ready for bed you interrupted my reading. How are you doing?’

Suddenly her voice and a moment of clarity hit me. She was the reason why I drank so much tonight. I don’t want her to see me in this state. I should call someone else instead.

`I’m um just wanted to say ello and I forgot what else. I will call you tomorrow instead so you can go to sleep or reading.’ I quickly hung up the phone not waiting for her to respond. Then I put a quarter in to the machine and realized I lost the 4th somewhere. So I hungup the phone and headed back towards the coffee shop. Perhaps they have a bathroom or something to clean me up.

No comments: